Human Intelligence
by Mr. Shitsmear
Summary: Frieza and Cooler escape from Hell. Most things go according to plan, they decide to lay low until ready to challenge Goku and they others. Though things go astray when they run into a young Earthling and her companions (while staying in their home, mind you). OC's are used. Rated M for future Chapters.


Training. Ugh, was that all they ever did nowadays? Of course it was to improve themselves, so that they may defeat the Super Saiyans. The Icejin Cooler overlooked his sibling, along with a few others down in one of Hell's arenas. They were all permitted to battle amongst each other for a certain amount of time each day, so long as it didn't interfere with the Oni's or King Yemma's work.

Cooler sighed and leaned back against the over-sized boulder he'd had himself propped against; there weren't really any clouds in hell. None that seemed real, anyways. Nothing to give spark to the imagination. Really, though what sort of imagination did he have? He was a genocidal monster for kami's sake. "Fools. We'll never attain freedom in these conditions." Only he was plotting an escape. Not to attack Goku or the others, just simply to get out of this decrepit hole. He would think of what to do with Goku when he was out.

Cooler considered asking Frieza and their Father along, but they'd more than likely only be trouble. At least, he would ask Frieza. As much as he disliked the spoiled little bastard, he was more useful in a fight than their Father, who'd become lazy over the years. "Tonight. We'll go tonight." He said, unknowingly out loud. He wasn't aware that Frieza was approaching him.

"Where are we going tonight?" The smaller Icejin inquired, landing on the spot of the ledge just beside Cooler. "Oh!" He jolted upward, flushing a bit. "Ah...You and I. We're leaving tonight."

Frieza cocked his head in confusion, "Leaving? Do you mean leaving Hell? Are we bringing Father?" He asked. "No," Cooler shook his head; "He'll only slow us down." The smaller Icejin laughed, "Oh, my, just out of curiousity, why out of all the people here are you asking me to tag along?" A cocky expression crept across his face. Cooler had always hated that expression. Frieza had always used it when they were younger, just after he'd tattled about Cooler doing something inappropriate. "...You're the only one here I actually know. Personally." He huffed.

"Very well, at what time will we be leaving?" Frieza asked once more. The older Icejin rolled his eyes; "You know there's no sense of time here in Hell. But I suppose sometime after dusk, when everyone's gone down to rest."

Frieza nodded, "That works. But how are we going to escape, though? That bastard King Yemma has a force around this place, you know that." He crossed his arms, plopping down beside the other Icejin. "Yes, but what you don't seem to know is that he releases this force sometime after everyone's gone to sleep. It won't be hard to get back to the normal 'world' once we're free of the barrier zone."

"Yes, and what of the Super monkeys who'll surely apprehend us upon our arrival?" Frieza raised a metaphorical brow at the other. The grin that had been on his face hadn't departed in the slightest. "We won't rush into a fight with him. I've recently found a way to mask or suppress my energy, if you try to as well we might be able to make it onto Earth unnoticed."

Frieza couldn't exactly argue with that plan. It was logical, though he wasn't all that skilled at hiding his energy. "Alright. But where will we be staying once on Earth? And how do you suppose I learn to hide my power?" His tone seemed more serious now. "I'll teach you before we go. We still have time, and an occupancy will be the least of our worries."

"Alright. Shall we get started, or did you want to wait a bit?"

* * *

"Now would be best."

Several hours after the 'Sun' had set. Everyone who had been out were inside their individual homes. Those who had been misbehaving were locked away in the jail cells. Loud snoring, grumbling and whatnot could be heard in the distance. It was somewhat distracting to those on guard, and henceforth had to keep the Onis on their toes. Cooler skulked past the massive spines jutting from the ground, the center pieces that his ally Cell had once been impaled on. Cooler was fortunare he wasn't present for that, as it was likely he would've either been beaten like the rest, or impaled as well. It hurt, quite a bit, but the impalement wouldn't kill him. Or the others. Hell was hell, and unfortunately Death wouldn't come for any. It was possibly for them to be reincarnated, but Cooler wasn't all that up for it.

Cooler quickly passed by the Blood Pond, followed closely behind by Frieza, they made certain not to make a sound. When the Onis were resting, they let their vicious Hounds out to attend to Hell's Denizens. Mercy was not an option with those brutish mutts. Cooler shivered at the thought of them. He'd attempted escaping once before, only to be attacked by a Hound. It had pile drove him, sinking its massive teeth into his throat, and its claws into his abdomen and back. "Ugh..." Frieza paused and tapped the elder. He turned, uttering; "What!?" In an impatient tone. "Are you alright? You keep shuddering making that 'ugghhg' sound." Frieza said.

"What do you care? I was just thinking about something. Now come on!" He took hold of Frieza's wrist and pulled him forward. Their footing was careful, and they made sure to keep their tails held high, so as to keep them from dragging on the ground. The dragging would make a sound, unfortunately loud enough to alert a Guard, or a Hound. They'd both learned this in the past. "Is it down yet?" Frieza asked, a bit too loudly. "Shh!" The older Icejin put his hand over Frieza's mouth. "Do you want to wake everyone up!?" He whispered angrily.

The two levitated up towards the yellowish cloud-like substances. Cooler hesitantly reached out one hand, pushing it through the cloud. He pushed his forearm, bicep and shoulder through as well. Just to be sure. "Alright. I think it's safe." Cooler continued forward, and Frieza followed shortly after. "...Now what?" Frieza asked. He hadn't really gotten this far before, save for the one time that Janemba fellow had taken over Hell. He'd turned everything to Candy, and made massive jelly beans appear from nothing. He quite reminded them of Majin Buu. The younger one, that is. "Now, I believe we have to go and find King Yemma's station. Once we're past that, there's a portal that will take us to Earth."

So they continued onward, just as Cooler had said. They quickly crept past King Yemma, who was sleeping. His snores were loud, and drawn-out. They appeared somewhat like thunder. This was most likely due to his size. _"Not even Father is this loud when he sleeps."_ Frieza thought to himself. Once past Yemma, they followed down a path, the one that the souls who'd passed recently followed. Luckily there weren't any on their way at the moment. Which seemed rather odd, to Cooler at least. "Mh. Alright, here it is." Cooler pointed downward, a swirling vortex that glowed pale white stood before them. "...And, how do you know this will take us to Earth?" Frieza sounded unimpressed by this.

"I just know, alright?" Cooler huffed and pushed Frieza a bit to the side. "Fine, if you're uncertain then I'll go first." He was about to step forward, like a person diving into water. Cooler hesitated for a moment, and just as it seemed as though he was going to go, he turned and grabbed Frieza by the arm; "Too slow!" He pulled them both backward, into the vortex. The was a bright flash of light, and the two plummeted onto the grass and dirt-y ground. Cooler landed first, followed by Frieza who landed on top of him. "Damn it..." He cussed, "I should've put him first."

"Hmph." Frieza huffed, standing upward. He dusted the grime from his solid white skin and looked down at the other. "So then, genius. How are you so sure we're on Earth?" Frieza sounded even more annoyed than he had before. Though that was most likely because of being dragged through a void.

Cooler sat up, and pointed towards a distant light. "That." Thanks to their enhanced vision, they could see a bit more clearly than the average individual. It was a city. Many humans bustled around the buildings, despite it being so late at night. "Mh..." Frieza groaned; "Alright. But now, where are we going to be staying?"

"We'll find a place." Cooler said, standing upward. I'm sure there's an abode out here in the solitude that will suit us while we make plans for vengeance on Goku." He responded rather calmly. Frieza wasn't sure if he was comfortable with how calm Cooler was about all this. He shrugged the feeling off for the time being, however, as he was tired and it would be best to find someplace as soon as possible. "Alright...Lets get looking." Frieza walked a few feet forward before Cooler followed.

This planet certainly was very woodsy. Though that made sense, for there to be so many primitive beings alive then there would have to be a good deal of oxygen about for them. "Ugh." The Earthlings...What would happen if one were to stumble across them? It wasn't likely that all Earthlings knew of and were allied with the Saiyans, but they couldn't be too cautious. Frieza had learned that lesson the hard way. "Cooler, do you see anything where you are?" He yawned.

"No, not really. But- wait a moment, whats that?" He pointed, and Frieza turned. It looked to be a very large house...Manor? Mansion? It was rather large, but it look as though it was falling apart from the outside. Frieza wished they could do better, but on this foreign planet they didn't have much choice. "Good enough." He yawned once more, following along the stepping stones set before the place. Just for fun, Frieza knocked twice on the door. He just wanted to see if it was actually abandoned. From the look out front, it more than likely was. He just had to be sure.

After a few minute without anyone answered, Frieza turned the handle and pushed the door open. Much to both of their surprise, the place was actually quite nice. It was falling apart at all, the walls were intact, painted, and even slicked. The floors didn't appear to be dirty, and there was furniture!

Frieza thought for a moment. For this place to be so well furnished, someone must own it, and therefore must be living here. He didn't so much mind staying here, it was simply the face that he wasn't certain of what the Super Saiyan's homes looked like. For all they knew this could very well be the home of Goku they were intruding upon! "I ah...I think we should keep looking." Frieza took a step back, only to be caught in one of Cooler's arms. "This is more than likely the only place around for a while. You're tired, I'm tired. Lets just stay here." Cooler yawned, softly. He shut the door behind them and walked into what they guessed was the living room. How odd it was that the living room was open to the kitchen and the door.

Cooler stood before the couch and paused. He stood still for a few moments before falling forward. "'Night." He pulled up one of the throw-pillows from behind him and placed it beneath his chest. Frieza shrugged and laid down on the love-seat opposite of where the elder was. He yawned a few more times, before shutting his eyes. "...'Night."


End file.
